Pastor Slaughter
October 10, 2021
Pentecost 20
God’s Institution of Marriage
Text: Mark 10: 2-16
Have you heard the saying, “There is a grain of truth in every joke”? Or “A joke is truth wrapped in a smile”? So here are some jokes for you this morning, “Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear.” When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.”
I think we have all heard jokes like that before and may have said something along those lines before. If there is a grain of truth in every joke, and we hear those jokes all the time, no wonder the divorce rate is so high. According the CDC Data, the Marriage rate: 6.1 per 1,000 total population and the divorce rate; 2.7 per 1,000.
Granted there is a lot involved with these statistics, but the point of this is simple the family unit is under attack. I am pretty sure we know of someone who has gone through a divorce. You may have gone through a divorce yourself or you suffered the effects of your parents being divorced. But this isn’t just happening in the World around us but it is happening among Christians. It’s like the devil is specifically targeting the family unit, whether it is letting our cultures view of marriage slip into our lives which diminishes the sanctity of marriage, or it is tempting people to sin and thus breaking that marriage bond. But it shouldn’t be that way among us. Today we are reminded of that as we look at God’s institution of marriage.
In Gospel of Mark, we see Jesus address some very similar issues to what we see are seeing today. Attacks against Jesus were ramping up. Some of the Pharisees wanted to trap Jesus, to put him between a rock and a hard place. So they asked him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Jesus throws the question back at them, “What did Moses command you?” And they said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
During this time there was debate about what Moses meant in Deuteronomy 24:1. There were those who followed Rabbi Shammai who said the only reason for divorce was moral indecency and there were those who followed Hillel who said anything in a wife that did not please the husband was grounds for divorce. (Doesn’t that sound familiar?) They were expecting Jesus to answer one way or another and thus alienating himself from one group or another.
So Jesus goes back to the very beginning of creation and the principal that God has established there. “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.” Marriage is to be between one man and one woman, the two become one. Then Jesus gives his own judgment on the matter, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
The original intent of marriage was the lifelong union between one man and one woman. And marriage is not simply a human arrangement but “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” God joining husband and wife together is like taking two pieces of paper and gluing them together. They are no longer two but one.
The closest thing we can get to a mirror of the love of God for us is the mirror of the love that he wants us to have for one another in the family. So much so that he compares the relationship between himself and the Church with the relationship that a husband is to have with his wife. A husband is to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church. How did Christ love the church? He gave himself up for her. Because of his great love for us, what does the church do? It submits to him trusting what he says is for our good! This is the kind of relationship that should exist between husbands and wives, a relationship built on love and respect for each other.
But how do we view marriage? Is it lifelong commitment? Do we recognize that It is God who joins husband and wife together? I think that so much of the world around us views marriage simply as a human institution that satisfies a current need or is done for a temporary convenience. God does give blessings in marriage, sexual happiness, companionship, and children, but if you view marriage as a relationship to satisfy yourself and your needs and what you want in life then who are you committed to? Yourself or your spouse? Then what happens when things become difficult?
But this not only applies to married person but the single Christian. Are you showing respect for this institution of marriage that God has established as you are with your boyfriend and girlfriend? If the Lord blesses you with a spouse in the future are the choices you are making now show that you are committed to yourself or your future spouse?
How do you talk to your spouse? Is it showing that Christ like love? How do you talk about your spouse to others? Is it showing respect for them? How do you talk about the institution that God has established? Is it treating it with the respect that is due to it?
Jesus is pretty firm on this. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” If selfishness, lack of commitment, taking the easy way out instead of working through problems are the reasons for divorce, then Jesus says, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. If she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
The answer to the question about grounds for divorce is simple: God’s intention form creation was that there be no divorce. Every divorce is a sinful violation of God’s institution of marriage. So why did Moses permit a certificate of divorce? Jesus says “He wrote this command for you because of your hard hearts.” It is because of sin that is in hearts of people. There are some parties to the divorce that are victims rather than perpetrators. If the spouse has broken the marriage by adultery or by deserting the marriage, the other spouse is not sinning by obtaining a divorce because it is a legal recognition that the marriage has been broken. Yes God hates divorce. But it is also true that God hates the sin that breaks the marriage bond. Abusers will misuse this passage of Scripture to guilt their spouse to stay in an abusive relationship. But their abuse has already broken the marriage bond. If you are in an abusive relationship, please get some help. We have resources and counselors that we can connect you with.
Why is God so serious about divorce? If marriage is the institution where the two will become one, like glueing two pieces of paper together, divorce is like separating those two pieces of paper. What happens? It’s never the same. The paper gets ripped and torn. If it is unfaithfulness or desertion. It’s like tearing the pieces apart. Or if it is just an unwillingness to work through things and you are simply deserting the marriage. It is like tearing the pieces apart. And remember when you tear the pieces of your marriage apart. It is tearing apart what God has joined together and you and I have no right to do that.
Those of you that have experienced a divorce or those of you that gave into sin. It may feel like you are broken glass. (Show the picture) That there is no hope of putting the pieces back together. But there is. What has Christ done to show love for you? “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, by cleansing her with the washing of water in connection with the Word. He did this so that he could present her to himself as a glorious church, having no stain or wrinkle or any such thing, but so that she would be holy and blameless.” Look at the love that Christ has shown to us. He has made us holy. He has washed away our sins. He has removed every stain and wrinkle. So that we are holy and blameless. He takes the broken pieces in our lives caused by sin (our sin or maybe someone else’s sin) and makes us whole (Show the glass picture of the dove) through his mercy and forgiveness.
As Christians we need to hear that warning that Jesus gives to us in Mark: the warning not only to those who actually divorce but also to those whose behavior inside of marriage displays a lack of appreciation for the beautiful gift of God gives in one another. We also have an encouragement to appreciate for those who are faithful to their families to appreciate God’s special blessings that he uses this relationship as mirror for the life with Christ and his marriage with the Church. For the single Christian, look to the love of Christ in your life and let that fill you up. If the Lord blesses you with a spouse in the future, seek to show that Christ like love to your future spouse by the choices you make now. For the divorced Christian, constantly go back to Christ and the love he has shown you. For the married Christian, appreciate God’s special blessings he gives you as you can mirror the relationship between Christ and his church!
As you know there are lots of jokes about marriage. But the reality is no laughing matter. It is a blessing given to us by God and as Christians we want to respect God’s institution of marriage.