Deo Gloria

Sermon for September 17, 2023

Pastor Martin Bentz

 

Text: Genesis 50:15-21

Theme: A Lesson on Getting Even and Forgiveness

 

I’m sure you’ve seen the game being played.  Perhaps you’ve even played it yourself.  It goes something like this: a brother and sister are sitting on the couch in the living room, quietly watching TV.  The very fact that they’re both sitting there at the same time and not fighting is nothing less than a minor miracle.  If only it would last!

While his sister goes to the kitchen to grab something to drink, the younger brother grabs the remote and changes the channel.  When his sister returns, she looks at the TV, looks at her brother, grabs the remote and changes the channel back.

“Hey,” her brother says as he reaches for the remote, “I was watching my show.  Turn it back.”

“Knock it off,” she snaps.  “You know my show wasn’t over yet.”  And she pushes him away.

“Hey, don’t push me,” her brother retorts and he hits her in the arm.

“Listen, buster,” replies his sister, “you started this.”  And she socks him a good one in the arm.

“Ow, that hurt!” cries out her brother and he retaliates by kicking his sister in the ankle.

 

Sound familiar?  It’s a very common game, one that’s played in households all over the world.  And it isn’t limited to homes either.  It’s played in schools, in office buildings and factories.  It’s played on the playground at the park, and sad to say sometimes even right here at church.  It’s a game called “getting even.”

As I mentioned, it’s a very popular game, popular among both children and adults alike.  They’ve even made T-shirts about it.  Perhaps you’ve seen one: “I don’t get mad.  I get even.”

Yet, in spite of its popularity and in spite of the fact that it often resembles a game, sometimes it isn’t very much fun.  In fact, sometimes it can become downright cruel and violent.  A man gets fired at work.  So he goes out and buys a semi-automatic rifle, walks into his place of employment, and starts blowing people away.  Or worse yet, he walks into McDonalds and starts blowing people away.  A 16-year-old girl fails to make her high school cheerleading squad.  So she spreads nasty rumors all over school about one of the girls who beat her out.

Getting even—as I said, sometimes it isn’t a whole lot of fun.  In fact, more often than not it leads to someone getting hurt either physically or emotionally or both.  Getting even….

This morning, as we look at an incident in the life of Joseph, we want to pay special attention to what God has to say about getting even and, even more importantly, what he has to say about forgiveness.  We read from Genesis ch. 50, beginning at v. 15.

 

Many people feel that getting even is their God-given right.  “I have a right to get even,” they would say.  Is that the case, though?  Do people—do you and I have a right to get even?

Let’s look again at Joseph.  If anyone had a right to get even, Joseph did.  After all, his brothers had been exceptionally cruel to him.  Oh yes, I’m sure Joseph was not the easiest of brothers to get along with.  I’m sure that to a certain extent Joseph had it coming.  But plotting to kill your own brother, and then eventually selling him as a slave…?  I’d say that was a little extreme, wouldn’t you?  I mean, with brothers like that, who need enemies?  And I’m sure those thoughts crossed Joseph’s mind a time or two as he slaved away in Potiphar’s household, and especially when he ended up in prison: “This is all their fault.  They’re gonna pay for this.  Some day they’re gonna pay!”

Then, as God would have it, Joseph’s fortunes turned around.  Joseph became a ruler in Egypt, Pharaoh’s right hand man no less.  And wouldn’t you know it, his brothers came down to Egypt to buy food.  And later on they moved down to Egypt along with their father and their families, which placed them under Joseph’s authority, under his control.

And now Joseph had the perfect opportunity.  Their father, Jacob, had died.  No longer did Joseph need to restrain his desire to take revenge out of respect for his father, not wanting to cause him anymore grief.  Joseph was the ruler of the land.  His brothers were at his mercy.  Joseph could have done anything he wanted to them: had them arrested and thrown into prison, forced them to become his slaves, confiscated their sheep and other personal property.  “Now they’re gonna pay.”  And that’s exactly what his brothers were afraid Joseph would do: seek revenge against them for what they had done to him.

But Joseph didn’t do that, did he?  Oh, I’m sure the temptation was there.  “Remember what they did to you, Joseph?   Remember the hatred in their eyes?  Remember all those years of slave labor, of heartache, of loneliness?  Remember that, Joseph?  Now’s your chance.  You’ve got ‘em right where you want ‘em.  Make ‘em pay.”  Those are some of things Satan probably whispered in Joseph’s ear.

But Joseph didn’t give in to that urge to get even.  Listen again to what he said to them: “’Don’t be afraid.  Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don’t be afraid.  I will provide for you and your children.’  And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them”(vv. 19-21).  So why not?  Why didn’t Joseph get even with his brothers.  Well, first, he recognized that God had forgiven him for all his sins, all the wrongs he had done.  So how could he not forgive them?  Secondly, Joseph apparently also knew the truth which God later put down in writing for us in the book of Deuteronomy: “It is mine to avenge,” he says; “I will repay”(32:35).

The answer, then, is “No.”  No, you and I do not have the right to get even.  We might like to think we do, or at least our sinful pride would like to think we do.  And that is really the heart of the matter.  It’s our sinful pride that wants to get even.  Getting even is the way our sinful pride, our ego, responds when we are insulted or “wronged” by someone else.  “How dare you say something like that to me!”

“Oh yeah, you can’t do something like that to me and get away with it.  You’ll get yours!”

Recognize that for what it is.  That’s your sinful nature talking, your ego, which is only concerned about you and how you look.  Your sinful pride doesn’t want you to look bad.  If one of your classmates says something mean to you or cuts you down, that makes you look bad.  So you have to retaliate and get them back.  Then you look better, right?  Wrong!  You may feel a little better at first, since you’ve satisfied that urge to get even.  But in the long run you don’t feel any better.  In fact, you feel worse, because your conscience convicts you that your getting even was wrong.

And it is wrong.  It’s contrary to the way God would have us deal with other people.  God says that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.(Mt 22:39)  Would you  want other people to get even with you?  Or better yet, would you want God to get even with you?  Can you imagine what it would be like if God chose to get even with us, if he decided to pay us back for all the times we have sinned against him, for all times we have failed to obey his commands, for all the times we have cursed and sworn or used his name in vain, for all our sinful thoughts?  I don’t even want to imagine what that would be like, because I know how awful it would be.  And so do you.  It would mean being cast into outer darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

But God has been gracious to us and merciful.  He has not taken revenge on us.  He has not given us what our sins deserve.  Instead he has forgiven our sins, cancelled them all through the suffering and death of his own, beloved Son.  And in light of that he has no bone to pick with us anymore.  He has let go of our offenses.  He has forgiven, and he has forgotten.

Can we, then, turn around and take revenge on someone else?  In light of God’s grace and mercy to us, can we take justice into our own hands and get even with those who have wronged us?  How could we?  It would be totally inconsistent with the way that God has treated us.  It would be wrong.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have sinned in this regard.  There have been times when I have gotten even with others or plotted how I might get even with them.  My guess is you have too.  Maybe it was a brother or sister you just had to get even with.  Maybe it was a friend, or at least a former friend.  Maybe it was someone at work, someone you never got along with very well.  Maybe it was a total stranger, someone who happened to cut you off on the freeway.  Regardless of who it was, we all have done it.  We have given in to that sinful desire and gotten even.  For that we need to ask for God’s forgiveness.

 

What is God’s will, then, in regard to getting even?  First of all, that we recognize, as Joseph did, that getting even is God’s prerogative not ours.  Remember God’s words:  “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.”  God may not give pay-backs the way we would or when we would; but you know what?  It’s probably better that way.  In fact, I know it is.  I know it’s better that way, better for you and better for the other person too, because it’s God’s way.  And God’s way is always better.

Secondly, God’s will in regard to getting even is that we respond with kindness.  “I’m sure you’ve heard the expression: “Kill ‘em with kindness.”  While it may not be a direct quote from the Scriptures, the principle is certainly Biblical.  Paul says as much in Romans ch. 12:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.(vv. 17-21)

And Peter says the same thing in his first epistle: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing”(3:9).  Those are some of the most difficult words in the Bible to put into practice.  You see, getting even is easy, but it’s wrong.  Responding with kindness is difficult but that’s God’s way.  It’s the way Joseph responded.  It’s also the way Jesus responded.  And it’s the way he wants his followers to respond as well.

 

So, what are you going to do the next time someone insults you or does something really mean?

First of all, recognize that getting even is God’s right not yours.

Secondly, with a big gulp, swallow your sinful pride and along with it your urge to get even.  The way you look to others isn’t all that important.  The important thing is how you look in God’s eyes.

Thirdly, forgive them.  That’s right, forgive them.  Even if they didn’t apologize or say they’re sorry, forgive them as Joseph did.  Forgive them as God has graciously forgiven you.

And fourthly, respond with kindness.

Now it may take some practice; but if you can learn to do that, you will have learned a very valuable lesson for life, a lesson that will bring much more peace to your home and blessing to your life than a game of getting even ever will.  Amen.